“Hi, we have a special going today. If you purchase two bails of fishing-”

“Fishing” detected- ASSOCIATION ACTIVATED: ENGAGE PICTURE MOLESTATION MODE

I’ll make your grandmother howl like a dog trapped in a burning house if you don’t elucidate me within 5 minutes. My balls are in your court now.

I’m not familiar with modern slang. Boy/girlmode, is that when someone is pretending to be their original gender or when they’re trying to put themselves fully in their gender mindspace?

I ended up introducing many over there to the concept of “gang stalking.” Not my proudest moment, but very on brand.

Schizoposting is hilarious. Whenever I try it on lemmy they say “whoa, go to the hospital” or “banned for trolling” or “Координаты обрыва: 38.87584° северной широты, 77.06226° западной долготы”

Then learn to forage or farm and steal a plot of land out in the forested boonies. Or join a commune. Or move to another country with your belongings. Or or or or etc.

Your choices aren’t just jail or death, and whoever led you to believe that likely had a vested interest in your distress or compliance

If this happened, which it didn’t because it’s just anon’s fictional insecurity playing out over their computer screen, then this would be an extreme display of their coworkers’ insecurity over their place in the world. You don’t exist to work. Work exists in service to your desire to live in human society and nothing else.

Uhh, I fail to see what anon did wrong. Mundane conversations about average issues would give only the most selfish sort of person the ick.

etermined to keep my head up high, but it gets hard when I’m deep in a

Attention: The person above is attempting to have you publicly mogged. Masticate my new supplement, Eagle Tar, to recoup your stolen androgens NOW. Sell your car, do the tar!

Feels like a trap. “Yes, please voluntarily offer your personal information to our legal department.”

Weird way to tell someone you roofied them.

For the record, I thought you were hilarious.

Edit: actually no, I still don’t like this joke

I’ve always had an extreme fondness for this one, as it perfectly describes the way my mom and I used to watch horror movies. Every word in her voice, tone matching. Remember to cherish the people in your life. They’re not here forever.

Moisture and warmth are the answer. Mold loves moisture and warmth and you gifted it one or the other, at some point.

Swimming, usually. But for me? Also swimming. I enjoy swimming and gorillas do not.

I could kick the shit out of a gorilla. Just give me a massive pile of rocks, sunscreen, 15 hours, and two Olympic swimming pools.

I was worried we started our own oldschoolcool, the “wank to my ancestors” community, for a second, but they do look nearly identical. Lot of dominant genes in her mom.

Which is understandable, if you’ve never been one of the first people on a social media platform. They have no clue how utterly surface-level their issues are.

Someone correct me if I’m wrong but, were they to get the level of engagement they wanted, wouldn’t most broadly federated small instances close due to increased hosting costs? I don’t think we’re physically able to support the number of people required to create broad niche community discussion.